Your Why

Someone once said that finding your passion / what makes you come alive was a lot like finding your ‘why’. I encourage you to watch Simon Sinek’s TED Talk on finding your why. He aimed the talk at businesses. Apply similar logic to finding your own ‘why’ or purpose in life will give the power to make permanent changes. 

It can feel like an enormous task, but it can also be simple. What do you enjoy doing that helps others and that other people appreciate? What impact does this make in your life and others? How can you do more of it? Questions like these can help you find your ‘why’. This will give you the power to continue growing, even when it gets tough. 

You can find your meaning in something others might feel is small or disregard. Being a mum often falls foul of this. When mothers cannot see the importance and impact of their role, they will often discount themselves by saying, ‘I’m just a mum.’ You can find meaning in anything: your daily work, or in being an activist, set on changing the world in some area. The power is in having something you ‘get’ to do every day rather than ‘have to do’. 

When you can see the impact of your actions, you find joy or satisfaction and you want to keep doing it, then you are on track to living with meaning. This is about more than what you do. What you do reflects why you exist. This is also about how you live your life. It can feel like the essence of who you are, a deep inner connection with what matters to you. All the work we have done to date is about this. Finding what is important gives a clear sense of identity and this, combined with a sense of purpose, leads to a satisfying and fulfilling life.

The teller at our local store is a great example of someone who loves her job and delights in serving people. She is always so kind, friendly and helpful. I asked her once what her secret was. She said that she did not see herself as a ‘checkout chick’ but as a ‘Happiness Concierge’. She connects with people and lifts their spirits because she sees her role as spreading joy through simple things. It is amazing how many people will wait longer in the queue to be served by her.

Meaning gives work and life a purpose and helps us bring the right attitude and approach. The wonderful thing is that your purpose can be that simple: ‘to make those around me happier’.

How did you find what made you come alive?

I looked for patterns. I reflected on moments when time seemed to disappear or when I sensed I had created joy for others, times of total absorption and moments when I persevered against all odds. As I reflected on these moments, I took time to follow the threads of ideas and observations I had about those times. Over time, I got a clearer picture that allowed me to know what I wanted to do more of. Which I did. I structured my life so that I could spend the maximum time and energy in the areas that make life feel so worthwhile.

What happens when what makes you come alive seems inconsequential, like a hobby you enjoy getting lost in that is of little benefit to anyone else, or your passion and pursuit irritates others?

People like Malala Yousafzai fighting for the rights of young women, or the fictional character Billy Elliot, the miner's son in England, wanting to pursue ballet. If you do not know what makes you come alive, you are missing out on the best that life offers. It is worth making this your pursuit. The action that makes you come alive is not as critical as the impact it has on you, because in turn you will impact your world. If what you do brings the best from you, it will make your world a better place.