What Make You Come Alive?
When I considered writing a book, I wrestled with a score of internal objections. Some of the top ones were why I should add another book to the world, what would be the core message, and what I could say that hadn’t already been said before. I decided to do it because I wanted to do it. I considered which topics I get the most feedback on and summarised it into the AIM triangles. Like my training, the model’s structure was designed to build concept upon concept. The central starting point—the core—was understanding how identity shapes everything.
You act out of your identity. The lens through which you view and create your reality is shaped by your identity. Your identity determines your actions because people behave according to how they see themselves. Therefore, you need to be clear on who you want to be so you can start being that person every day. The “who” question lays the foundation.
Awareness helps you see and understand where you are and what factors contribute to your current mindset and behaviour. Knowing “where” your starting point is and identifying “what” helped you to get to this point sets you up to move forward. Intent helps you set clear goals and determine which steps you need to take to deliberately move towards your ideals. The final building block is unlocking your “why”. From here you can determine the “how” and “when”, but to get momentum you need to know what gives your life meaning.
The fact you are reading this means you are alive. Do you feel alive? Do you have dreams, hopes, and aspirations? This does not need to be world-changingly lofty and aspirational; it just needs to give you purpose. When we are “living on purpose,” our life has “meaning.” This allows us to gauge our actions and our days—a form of “measurement.” Setting yourself up to do more of what you want creates “momentum.” When something means a lot to you, it’s easy to find the drive and maintain the momentum. You find the internal resources to keep going to achieve it. Providing for your family, eating regularly, and continuing your studies to get your degree are all examples. If you want to maintain momentum, your ideals need to have depth and meaning. I have found that when people set ideals that serve and benefit others and see the impact of their actions, they have longer-term sticking power. This gives life meaning and fuels our motivation.
What makes you come alive?
I love this quote from Howard Thurman: “Don’t ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive, and go do that, because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”
When we are alive, there is a part of our soul that has found meaning and is responding, answering the question, “Why am I alive here and now?” This is more than a superficial reason. It makes sense to you. It aligns with what matters for you—be it a life calling, mission, or the reason you believe you are on earth. When you have found your calling, it becomes something that you must do. Momentum then becomes inevitable. When life has that depth of meaning, it gives you the drive to push through obstacles, and you find purpose in what you do.
There are so many examples, and reading biographies highlights this. Mother Teresa is a classic example. She was the headmistress of a school who felt a calling to help the poorest of the poor in Calcutta. The certainty of her purpose sustained her through much doubt and many trials. Anyone with a cause is usually a good example. Currently, several people feel drawn to highlight the environmental challenges the world faces. Look at the work of Leonardo DiCaprio, Jane Fonda, Greta Thunberg, Mark Ruffalo, and Prince Harry in areas such as climate change and environmental activism. You do not have to agree with their stance to see their passion, drive, and conviction.
A few years ago, I was sharing some of my experiences with a small group of men. One guy asked how I maintained such a positive attitude. I shared my strategy of imagining my kids were watching my every interaction. One of my greatest “whys” is to be a great dad and an example in all I do and say. It has been an effective method of ensuring I always bring my best. About a year later, I met him again. He had implemented that one strategy into his life, and it had made a profound difference. That story sticks with me because I did not remember the moment until he reminded me of it. I want to make a positive difference every day of my life. You never know when your words and actions will impact someone else. Feedback like that certainly helps me to keep aiming for my ideal.
When your life has meaning and you have a purpose, you grow the skills and strengths to navigate constantly toward your ideal. As you do more, you find a depth of internal resources that is unlocked each time you stretch yourself. Living life for more than yourself and being driven by purpose and meaning amplifies your growth. It gives “meaning” to the everyday humdrum of life. You develop an increasing awareness of the connection between your words and actions. How are you using your time, skills, and abilities in ways that positively affect yourself and others? What do you do every day, week, and month that gives you purpose and makes you feel alive?
