Winning - The Universal Motivator
In life there is a rule that action must precede outcome. Rarely does an action reward one with immediate results when it comes to personal and people development. A single run or gym workout does not get you fit or toned. A single healthy meal does not improve your health or physique. You need to start to get the result, but the reward is separated from the desired outcome by time and effort. Often a lot of effort. Consistently applied.
People like to win. Clarity of your desired outcome can be very motivating. Make the journey an adventure. See the wins as progress towards a worthwhile goal. Where are you headed? What do you want to achieve? Who do you want to be? This last question helps determine how you will show up, commit, and perform.
When you choose who you want to be, you can then deliberately work towards being that person and that is who you will become. Knowing the path and desired end outcome allows you to create reference markers and check-in questions. Some I have found useful are: When you envisage who you are in the future, how do you see yourself? What are you doing differently? Where do you live? What is important to you? How do you choose to spend your time? Which things take priority in your life? Why will those things matter? Who are you friends with? How do you know you've achieved your ideal?
These questions give forward direction. It is gradual. Slight improvements compounding every day allow you to look back in six months, one year or five years and see how far you’ve come and how much you have developed. Growth gives life a sense of purpose and meaning. We win in small and big ways daily. Winning is a universal motivator. People like to win, to have some sense of achievement and progression forwards.
To win, you have to be aiming for something. Creating mini competitions and gamifying your growth and progress can make it fun. Things are a lot easier to do when they are fun. When you win, the brain releases dopamine. It is one of the four chemicals I call the brain's happiness chemicals. You get a dose of dopamine released when you win or succeed. The brain's ability to repeat activities it enjoys and is rewarded for is so strong that companies design pokie machines, email and social media to leverage this. You can leverage this along with the three other chemicals your brain releases – oxytocin, serotonin and endorphins. I will touch on these later. For now, it's important to understand that your brain can be programmed. To do this, you need to know what you want it to be programmed for. This impacts where you direct your thoughts and what thoughts you dwell and ruminate on.
I have two methods that have helped me focus my thoughts and forward path. The first is called the death bed memoir. Imagine that you have reached a ripe old age of 97. You have had the most amazing, blessed and incredible life. Lying on your deathbed, content and ready to pass on, surrounded by your loved ones. You stare around the room and reflect on how you got to know all these amazing people, all the places you have been, the things you have done, the experiences you've had, the things you have created and the impact you've made. You are filled with love and gratitude. Write your life experiences from that perspective and then live them.
If it helps, rather than thinking of dying, imagine how you would like your kids or close friend to describe you to somebody. Write that out. You do not have to show what you've written to anybody, just do it for yourself. It will help to paint the picture of who you want to be. Read it often. Allow it to be your guiding light so that you can start the journey towards being that person. Then, day by day, that is how you will become the person you want to be.
