Measure What Matters

Earlier this year I suggested writing out your eulogy. Being the end of the year you likely are reading this blog expecting peace, joy and hope and I have you writing your last words. I jest. As I shared, it is actually a very confronting but useful exercise. I explored the topic further after a friend pointed me towards Stoic philosophy, in particular Seneca and Marcus Aurelius. They have a phrase called ‘memento mori’ which means “remember death” and it is used to remind you of your mortality. Marcus Aurelius noted in his journals, ‘You could leave life right now. Let that determine what you do and say and think.’ 

Let’s take that concept a little further. You need to ensure you are focusing on the right things. An effective way of doing this is to keep a track of outcomes. I’ve observed at work that what you measure you focus on, and what gets measured, gets actioned. It is because of this that many people can become myopic and focused on money and status symbols. They are easily measured and the world at large gives rapid feedback. Another observation is that what gets rewarded gets repeated.

With that in mind, some reflective questions for you. Have you implemented good feedback loops in your life? Are those giving feedback coming from a place of having your best interest heart, looking out for you in both the short and long term? When you look back, you will see your life is made up of moments. Are you collecting moments that will matter in years to come? Do you get home on time and in a good mood? Are you prioritising your kids' sports games while you can still attend? Are you making time to stay healthy? 

‘Memento mori’ is a reminder that  you are mortal. This can be helpful if we allow the knowledge to lead to action. Measure what matters to you and have a reliable way of gauging if you are on track towards who you want to be.

When you get to the end of your life and look back, what do you think you are likely to wish you did, or did not do? Making time to reflect on this at frequent intervals, be that daily, weekly or monthly can help keep you on track. Many people quip that you will not find a  gravestone that says, ‘I wish I had spent more time at work’ and yet when taking stock of where they spend their time, work is a significant chunk of it, often at the expense of family. 

Whether it is work or a sport, hobby or addiction, the question to address is, ‘Am I intentionally investing my time into this activity or is it consuming my life at the opportunity cost of things that matter: family, health, making a difference, etc?’ As you get older, you realise that life moves fast. I remember being 20 years old and sharing a story at my aunts 50th birthday party. I was relating how I had helped someone who had broken down and, when asked how old they were, I responded, “Oh they were ancient. They must have been at least 30!” A kick under the table from my Mum alerted me to my faux pas. Now, at 50,  I realise 80 is not that far away and does not even seem old!

Time will pass faster than you think. You get to choose if you will invest it intentionally or spend it distractedly. Unless you have a regular practice of measuring the results of your actions and habits, you can end up on the wrong life trajectory without realizing where the trend of your actions are taking you.

People often say that the older you get, the quicker time passes. The truth of this really hit me when my son turned 21. Like many parents, I vividly remember my eldest being born and his early days. When he turned 21, I remember looking up at him and wondering how he could be 21. I certainly did not feel 21 years older! It left me wondering where the time had gone and it is a feeling I reflect on often. It reminds me that time will march on. ‘Time waits for no man’ is a truism that demands a call to action. If you missed a moment in time, you cannot go back. You cannot attend a ball game you missed or play a board game, or go back and be there when the first heartbreak happened. You can learn from the choices you made and go forward making better choices. This was a profound experience for me in measuring what mattered to me.

You likely can relate to reflecting back on life. Seeing opportunities, gaps and learnings. See how the relentless list of tasks, work, bills, obligations can feel like they constantly demand attention. Work has its place. It is important. The point is not to detract from that, rather to get you to reflect on how much time, energy and focus you give work compared to other important parts of your life. Is there a desirable balance? Do you have a way of seeing how far you are from where you want to be? This can be a great motivator.

Let's stop here. A short task for you to do:

List what is important in your life: your family, faith, health, work, relationships, hobbies, sports, etc, and rate how happy you are with the current energy, time and focus you are giving each of these. If you were to stay on your current trajectory, would you be happy in one, three or five years' time? If not, what could you change today? Doing this exercise every quarter is a great gauge to show how well you are staying on track.

When I have done this I often find current demands like work, mortgages and bills can seem so important. Things like making time for health when you are young and not so aware of your health can also seem unnecessary.

The urgent and pressing issues in your life are excellent at drowning out the important. A significant question to consider is ‘If you knew you were going to die in two weeks, what would you focus on now?’ Seriously, consider that and then look at two months and two years. Who do you want to be? You become the person you want to be through your daily choices and activities. You are the sum of your habits. The method you adapt in your todays determines the person you become in your future. The way you live now affects your world tomorrow.

Live on purpose!