Who Are You?
“It’s not who you are that holds you back, it’s who you think you’re not.” ~ Denis Waitley
“Whether you think you can, or you think you can't – you're right,” – Henry Ford
“Who are you?” It seems like such a simple question. The first time I was confronted with this was when I was 13 in my first year of high school during a religious education class, or as we called it “RE”. I still vividly remember the intensity in the room being like popping corn. A kid called out, “I am Charles Goodwin. “That’s your name. Who are you?” Another called “I am John and Mary’s son, Sue’s brother and a grandson.”
"Those are your roles and relationship statuses in your life. Who are you?"
"I'm a Student and on a sports team and junior club leader."
"That is your current title and job responsibilities. Who are you?"
"I'm a human being, male, born, raised, and educated locally."
"That's good. It tells me about your gender and where you're from. Who are you?"
"I'm an avid runner, gardener, and board games geek."
"Those are your interests and hobbies. Who are you?"
I tried answering using a combination of all of the answers to be met with a similar retort and that nagging question, “Who are you?”
Do you have an identity of yourself: outside of your roles, titles, relationships? I wrestled with that question for decades. I lived a lot of my life trying to please other people. It took the fallout from a very messy and hard divorce before I finally confronted the reality that my identity lay in other people's thoughts, approval and admiration. Before you can take aim and live on purpose you need to know who you are - and who you want to be,
How do you see yourself? Are you happy with who you are? When you talk about yourself, are you quick to point out all your faults?
Words have power. They have so much power that the book of Genesis says God spoke creation into being. If you took stock of your words, what life do you speak “into being” for yourself, your family and your colleagues? Many people have strong negative descriptors for themselves, their situations, and their life. Some of them are blatant statements, like comments about one's physical or mental attributes. Others are more subtle, like refusing to accept a compliment or help. Sometimes the battle is the war in one's mind where the inner critic is never far away and always quick to point out failings and how things could, and should, have been done better.
How do you see yourself?
The picture you hold of you in your mind will determine how you live your life, what you say, how you treat others and how you behave. Do you like yourself? Do you see yourself as someone of value and worth?
We act out of our identity. Most people strive to stay consistent with their own mental model and picture of themselves. Knowing who you are, and understanding the elements that create, form and shape your identity, will allow you to understand why you do what you do. The better you know yourself, the easier it is to direct your life. We all have an internal program in our mind. This deep internal programming forms your identity.
