What Stops You?
What stops you?
What do you wish you had done?
What do you wish you would do?
“Live with no regrets” is the parting advice in the business fable “The ant and the elephant.”
The number one regret of the old and dying is “I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.” This comes from Bronnie Ware, an Australian palliative care nurse who spent several years caring for patients in the last twelve weeks of their lives. Her book is called “The Top Five Regrets of the Dying.”
What regrets do you have? What holds you back from living your best life? Will your future self thank you for the decisions you are making and the way you are acting today?
In his classic “Screwtape Letters” C.S. Lewis’s demon educates his protegee, Screwtape, of the power of doubt and worry - the devil’s most used and worn tools - constantly used due to their effectiveness. William Shakespeare captures this well in Measure for Measure, “Our doubts are traitors, and make us lose the good we oft might win, by fearing to attempt.”
With over a decade of working with people I remain amazed at the power fear has. I have seen the very thought of certain tasks - public speaking, cold calling, chasing overdue accounts, facing conflict, and other basic business skills, cripple capable, competent men and women with uncontrollable shakes, breath loss, memory blanks and even be reduced to tears.
A lot of fear stems from what others might think. Often these “others” are an unknown entity. Sometimes the fear stems from our restricted self image - not allowing ourselves to be all we can be. Sometimes it comes from comparing ourselves to others and instead of being inspired by the fact that others have done it so we can, we feel ‘less than’, inadequate and rob ourselves of the opportunity to grow.
I found incredible freedom in my life when I resolved to fear nothing but fear itself. Being acutely aware of things that made me afraid and pushing myself ‘through’ the experience help fear loose its grip. Realising that fear of failure was holding me back I changed my mindset from ‘viewing failure as fatal’ to knowing that “I never fail. I either win or I learn”.
I’ll leave you with one of my all time favourite quotes:
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”― Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love
Let’s roll up our sleeves, face that fear head on, and get on with being brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous!
