Own It: Navigating Life's Lessons
Life often teaches us lessons in the most mundane of moments, including those encountered during our daily commutes. One such lesson found me navigating my way to Auckland airport during rush hour, only to realize I had missed my exit.
Hoping not to also miss my plane, my mind automatically looked for external scapegoats—a poorly placed sign, the congestion of traffic—for my oversight. Yet, as the minutes ticked by and my GPS re-routed the journey, I couldn't deny the truth: the responsibility for missing the turn lay squarely with me.
Have you ever experienced a similar scenario, caught off guard by a missed opportunity or wrong turn? It's a common experience, one that often triggers feelings of annoyance or embarrassment. Yet, it's also a moment ripe with potential for growth and self-reflection.
In the extra minutes of finding my way to the airport, I experienced those familiar feelings of frustration and self-doubt that all humans face when finding themselves in uncomfortable situations. However, as I navigated the detour and eventually reached the airport, and my flight home, I realised again the importance of owning my actions and reactions. As important as taking responsibility for my navigation error is the significance of acknowledging my role in shaping my own experiences.
We project our insecurities and failings in different ways. Some people go very quiet and withdraw, others deflect attention, some get mad at others and some make fun of themselves. The book, “The Four Agreements” was insightful and confronting in many ways. The book outlines four agreements that one needs to make with themself. The one that spoke loudest the first time I read it was, “Be impeccable with your word”. In blaming things outside myself, I knew I was lying both to myself and those around me. Sitting with this uncomfortable truth and realising how many areas of my life I tended to react defensively in was a significant personal development moment.
If you can take ownership of your emotions in the same way that you can take ownership for navigating your destination when driving, you are 50% of the way there. Once you are aware how much your emotions guide you, and you accept that you can control your response to your emotions, you take a massive step forward on your journey to creating a healthy identity. Many people struggle with this idea because, deep down, they feel embarrassed and ashamed at some of their emotional responses. They want their response to be somebody else's fault.
Shame is one of the most crippling human emotions. It triggers a fear of things like social rejection, being judged, being teased or excluded. Brene Brown has done some incredible work in this field and her books and TED talks are well worth investing time in. By allowing yourself to confront your feelings, you can start accepting these feelings for what they are: messages to your brain.
Ultimately, we are accountable for our choices and their consequences, whether behind the wheel or in the boardroom. By embracing ownership of our experiences and responses, we empower ourselves to navigate life's twists and turns with grace and integrity.
Observe yourself today and through this week and see how many of your responses are deliberate and intentional vs default ingrained reactions. Each missed turn, each detour, offers valuable insights and opportunities for growth positioning you to consistently present the best version of yourself. With practice and mindful choice, this becomes your default mode of operation.
